Many of us enter relationships without giving them too much thought. We want to find love. We want to find a partner in life. Perhaps we have thought about wanting someone to who we share values and feel attracted, but often the thinking and reflecting does not go beyond wanting someone who is perhaps smart, ambitious and the type of activities they may enjoy.
Modern times and dating can bring a lot of complications to finding love…
There is a lot to navigate in the dating world…the hook-up culture…the online dating antics…what is real and what’s not…
What’s important to understand is that our brain and the nervous system is still the same as it was for our ancestors who lived in caves.
Although we live in the modern world with us women be more empowered than ever before to do anything we want in this world similarly to men, what has not changed is our innate desire to bond and mate. This is where it gets confusing…
How do I as a modern empowered woman find an equal man who shows up in the relationship and makes me feel appreciated and safe?
What is a “situationship”?
Even if I have all the best intentions of finding love with a long-term partner, I may end up in a complicated “situationship”. These are casual, undefined dating and relationship meetings between two people who fancy each other, the relationship often has some of the perks of a committed relationship like sex but no commitment or real emotional intimacy. There may be some “fake intimacy” that comes from long texting chains or rushing into sex without knowing who the other person is.
There is no judgement here! This may be your dating “exploration phase” when you are figuring out what you want and need. However, you are probably here because you are looking to find someone who becomes your loving, long-term partner in life.
I did end up in “situationships” when I was looking for love. I thought that was the modern way of finding love as a modern, empowered woman. I was so confused!
Usually, in a situationships one party ends up hurt (woman) and wondering what is going on even if it initially started as let’s just see how it goes.
We women have been programmed hormonally to bond with the person we have sex with and unless you are emotionally really cut off, the chances are that you get hurt in a “situationship”.
What is a consciously created relationship?
Consciously created loving relationships have a commitment to creating the couple bubble where two people consciously work towards building a deep connection with each other.
There is clarity.
There is commitment.
There is ownership of seeing myself as a whole person meeting with a like-minded whole person who also takes responsibility for what they bring to the relationship table.
There is an effort in building something beautiful together.
There is love and compassion towards each other.